“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor … If my name is not on it, I get up. "Tell me and I forget. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain. One good Husband is worth two good Wives; Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Every day we present the best quotes! But I'd like to add a third certainty: trash. - Benjamin Franklin. A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself. Energy and persistence conquer all things. His diverse interests in life led him to write some of the greatest sayings of all time. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself", “The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.” ― George Washington. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old benjamin franklin quotes, benjamin franklin sayings, and benjamin franklin proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. In order to be happy you need a good dog, a good woman, and ready money. Benjamin Franklin (2007). You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes. You bet I'm afraid!- Groucho Marx, Getting divorced just because you don't love a manis almost as silly as getting married just because you do.- Zsa Zsa Gabor, Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;give a man two rabbits, and he willfeed his family and his neighborsand return you 64,768 rabbits in change.- Anonymous, There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -before marriage and after marriage.- Anonymous, A man likes his wife to bejust clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,and just stupid enough to admire it.- Israel Zangwill, Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.- Groucho Marx, I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,the first of which is to be flexible at all times.- Everett Dirksen, One cannot have everything the way he would like it.A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.- Mark Twain, Do not marry a man to reform him.That is what reform schools are for.- Mae West, You never really know a man until you have divorced him.- Zsa Zsa Gabor, A man's friendships are, like his will,invalidated by marriage -but they are also no less invalidatedby the marriage of his friends.- Samuel Butler, A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,and a fool if he doesn't afterward.- Frank Lloyd Wright, Don't marry a man to reform him -that's what reform schools are for.- Mae West. “The ABC of Money: Including The Way to Wealth and The Gospel of Wealth”, p.72, Cosimo Classics, Benjamin Franklin, William Temple Franklin (1819). ", President Trump is sleeping one night when the ghost of George Washington appears at the foot of his bed. They arrive at the campsite and set their tent up and get everything ready. Our Constitution is in actual operation; everything appears to promise that it will last; but in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. - Benjamin Franklin. Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. “Wit and Wisdom from Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.12, Courier Corporation, There is a mistake in the text of this quote, Occupation: Founding Father of the United States. George disappears and Trump goe. Trump asks him, 'Georgie, my boy, how can I be a better president?' Then do not squander time;for that's the stuff life is made of.- Benjamin Franklin, At twenty years of age the will reigns;at thirty, the wit;and at forty, the judgment.- Benjamin Franklin, What you seem to be, be really.- Benjamin Franklin, Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind,than on outward circumstances.- Benjamin Franklin, There was never a good war or a bad peace.- Benjamin Franklin, Love your Neighbor; yet don't pull down your Hedge.- Benjamin Franklin, Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.- Benjamin Franklin, The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.- Benjamin Franklin [attributed], Hunger is the best pickle.- Benjamin Franklin, A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.- W. C. Fields, Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habitsand then complain that he's not the man she married?- Barbra Streisand, A man is incomplete until he is married.After that, he is finished.- Zsa Zsa Gabor, In order to be happy with a man,you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lotand not try to understand her at all.- Helen Rowland, It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.She's not marrying the best man.- Anonymous, Afraid? “The Autobiography, and Other Writings: With Selections from Poor Richard's Almanac and Papers Relating to the Junto”, Benjamin Franklin (2012). All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable. One of his most popular inventions is the 'writing chair,' a chair with a wide arm on one side, which is still used in many classrooms even today. The teacher decided that since it was Friday afternoon, and there was nothing left to do for the week, she'd let the students go home early if they could answer a question correctly. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. Doing an injury puts you below your enemy; Make yourself sheep and the wolves will eat you. “Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.98, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. Poor Richard's Almanac for 1735 and 1741. “The Posthumous and Other Writings of Benjamin Franklin ...”, p.290, Benjamin Franklin (2008). '. Benjamin Franklin was a hard working and self-motivated individual. He goes up to a foreigner and says: A general wants to reserve a jeep from the motor pool. The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you're finished. All quotes New Quotes (8) 4th Of July Funny Giving Inspirational Liberty Life Virtue more... Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man. The universe is too full of stars. She said "Give me liberty or give me death." Then I look at the obituary page. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.- Benjamin Franklin, One good Husband is worth two good Wives;for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.- Benjamin Franklin, Experience keeps a dear school,but fools will learn in no other.- Benjamin Franklin, Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.- Benjamin Franklin. I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. “The Way to Wealth”, p.4, Andrew Carnegie, Benjamin Franklin (2015). People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages. Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes. I am the lord of myself, accountable to none. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Mar 1, 2018 - Explore Bertha Phillips's board "Benjamin Franklin Quotes", followed by 572 people on Pinterest. Franklin turns to Trump and says: "I do not believe you understand the value of liberty, my good fellow." If you want to know more or withdraw your consent to all or some of the cookies, please refer to the. President Ben Franklin walks into a bar... Because my girlfriend knows how to blow a hundred bucks. Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader. Dost thou love life? Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man. Me? I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old. Money has never made man happy, nor will it. Discover and share Ben Franklin Funny Quotes. Benjamin Franklin Funny Quotes. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, This website or its third-party tools use cookies, which are necessary to its functioning and required to achieve the purposes illustrated in the cookie policy. George says, 'First, never tell a lie.' .. on the Givva River for the benefit of his hometown, Medea. Never has there been a good war or a bad peace. Then do not squander time,for that is the stuff that life is made of.- Benjamin Franklin, It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.- Benjamin Franklin, When the well's dry, we know the worth of water.- Benjamin Franklin, We must, indeed, all hang together or,most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.- Benjamin Franklin, Little strokes,Fell great oaks.- Benjamin Franklin, Fear not death; for the sooner we die,the longer shall we be immortal.- Benjamin Franklin, Early to bed and early to rise,makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.- Benjamin Franklin, Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.- Benjamin Franklin, A little neglect may breed great mischief.- Benjamin Franklin, Do not anticipate trouble,or worry about what may never happen.Keep in the sunlight.- Benjamin Franklin, Eat to live, and not live to eat.- Benjamin Franklin, Does thou love life? "If you can tell me who said the following quote, they don't have to come to school on Monday: 'We have nothing to fear, but fear itself'". Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. ", Franklin turns to Trump and says: "I do not believe you understand the value of liberty, my good fellow. Trump turns to Franklin and gives him a $100 dollar bill and says: "Of course I do. Please sign up on the form below to receive A man who's lickedhis weight in wild caterpillars?Afraid? He that would fish, must venture his bait. May the world be kind to you, His assistant is out so he makes the call himself. Let these funny Benjamin Franklin Quotes lighten up your life. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Involve me and I learn." And while some in this room might want to discuss reducing taxes, I want to talk about reducing trash. Money rules this world, Mr. Franklin. Enter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner, Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,but Babbling is ever a folly.- Benjamin Franklin, Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.- Benjamin Franklin, Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.- Benjamin Franklin, People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.- Benjamin Franklin, A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,to keep his friends in countenance.- Benjamin Franklin, Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,and most fools do.- Benjamin Franklin, Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;revenging one make you but even with him;forgiving it sets you above him.- Benjamin Franklin [attributed], Make yourself sheep and the wolves will eat you.- Benjamin Franklin, Money has never made man happy, nor will it,there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.The more of it one has the more one wants.- Benjamin Franklin, A good example is the best sermon.- Benjamin Franklin, He that would fish, must venture his bait.- Benjamin Franklin, Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.- Benjamin Franklin, Energy and persistence conquer all things.- Benjamin Franklin, For want of a nail the shoe was lost;for want of a shoe the horse was lost;and for want of a horse the rider was lost.- Benjamin Franklin, They who can give up essential libertyto obtain a little temporary safetydeserve neither liberty nor safety.- Benjamin Franklin, Necessity never made a good bargain.- Benjamin Franklin, A house is not a home unless itcontains food and firefor the mind as well as the body.- Benjamin Franklin, I am the lord of myself, accountable to none.- Benjamin Franklin, Well done is better than well said.- Benjamin Franklin, It is a great confidence in a friendto tell him your faults;greater to tell him his.- Benjamin Franklin, Hide not your talents,they for use were made.What's a sundial in the shade?- Benjamin Franklin, Half a truth is often a great lie.- Benjamin Franklin, Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.- Benjamin Franklin, A penny saved is a penny earned.- Benjamin Franklin [attributed], Never has there been a good war or a bad peace.- Benjamin Franklin, If a man empties his purse into his head,no man can take it away from him.An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.- Benjamin Franklin, He that hath a Trade, hath an Estate.- Benjamin Franklin, An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.- Benjamin Franklin, We must all hang together,or assuredly we shall all hang separately.- Benjamin Franklin, Dost thou love life?

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